i was listening to someone speak about a month ago, and heard this phrase from a well-known verse in Ecclesiastes. being a familiar passage about seasons and time, it’s often read at weddings or even at funerals, but this time, something about it struck me in a very deep place in my heart.
it wasn’t until this summer that a friend pointed out to me how uniquely i do certain things, like arrange food on a plate, or drink in details of a sunset, or take my time to savor a special moment. her recognition of these things caused an awareness in my heart that i have been pondering for a few months. one that i have come to a conclusion on.
i have always been on a search for beauty.
beauty is a word that strikes deeply. even in our culture. the word beauty has been marred, i believe because of what our culture says it is. the true definition of beauty has not been completely lost, just severely altered. the truest sense of the word is “a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight.” culture says it’s one thing. our Creator says it’s something entirely different. i want to find the latter. to join with Him in this redemptive process and for Him to use me to help others see the beauty around us. because it truly can be found in the most unlikely of places.
i have also been on a search for beauty in my own life. it was the adjective that seemed to describe everyone else around me, but myself. the ever elusive word that always hung empty when it was never spoken. the lies that came in made it easier and easier to believe that the lack of what was spoken was indeed true. maybe that is why this verse in the last month has had such an impact. i have realized that His timing is good, right and perfect. that He has been in a process of changing things in some of the deepest places in me. He has been tending to those areas like a gardener with great care. the soil of my heart was not rich or welcoming of seeds or the plow, or even trusting of His hands to plant them, but they have become more so within the last year. i have begun to recognize and accept that His timing is “fit and proper” as the word in the verse truly means. so i will no longer resist. i will embrace the process and trust who He says that i am, His beautiful daughter. believe that His thoughts and plans for me were rooted in beauty from the very beginning. i will let Him define my sense of beauty, without being pulled by what others say or the silence that sometimes speaks louder than even the best words. i will trust Him and His heart for me, that He will make me beautiful, in His time. as He sees fit and hope that in my journey to find what He deems beautiful, that i will assist those in my life to see the beauty that He shows me, through my hands, words or whatever way seems best to do so.