there is something about the psalms that has continued to captivate me in the last months. i cannot seem to land anywhere else for a long period of time without referencing the psalms in some form or fashion. the other day as i was reading through chapter 119, i paused when i came to verse thirty-two. it says “i will pursue your commands, for you expand my understanding.”
intrigued by the seeming meaning of this verse, i looked up what the word meant, and it said – to be or grow wide, be or grow large. how is this that by choosing to pursue and run after the ways of the heart of Him who loves us, that He would be gracious enough to actually enlarge or widen our capacity to know and understand Him? i can hardly accept this goodness.
our heart, the part that might betray us the most because of its fickle passions, is what constantly needs to be reminded of His truth. this part of us that is promised to expand is a true reflection of our inner man, our will and emotions. so, in choosing to be intentional and to determine to walk in the way of His precepts, we are believing that the commands that He has given us are really for our best. that His heart toward us is good and is of someone who loves us more fiercely and loyally than any human ever could. in submitting to this love and sinking into that kind of trust, it will be what brings us to life wholly, and over time, our hearts will grow and widen in the knowledge of His goodness. our ability to understand, think, reflect upon and remember His ways will become enlarged. He can and will actually change the content of our hearts.
so, i long for the knowledge of my heart to enlarge and expand in new ways and understanding of His intentions for me. at times, it may not be exactly as i picture it should be, and it certainly will not be free of pain, but still, i long to be changed in the inner most parts. to be expanded as my pursuit of His heart, the One who saw me being woven in the dark places of the womb, continues on its journey. to find the truest love story and be able to tell those around me of what He is speaking to me, and that it is also true for them. that His love is deep, it’s wide, it covers us and it’s the only thing that truly gives life.